Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Dating younger men

I'm sure by now most have heard the term Cougar. You know the one that describes older women dating younger men. Personally I hate the term and I don't consider myself a cougar. I feel it applies to those women who actively seek out younger men. Me on the other hand, I've never tried or sought to date younger men, honestly it just kind of happened.

I remember the first time I experienced a younger man being interested in me. It was my 40th birthday and I had flown to Texas to spend my birthday with my daughter. The day of my birthday she and her friends took me out to celebrate. We went to a couple of bars and by the end of the evening it was just me and her friends. At one point I ended up in the ladies room with two of her friends. The began to tell me that one of guys who was with us thought I was hot. Of course I was surprised, after all he was 24 and I thought they were joking. They kept saying that no "T' thought I was attractive and they thought it was cute. They left the bathroom and a few minutes later I followed. Well sneaky girls that they were, they manged to arrange it so that the only seat available was next to "T". Well we began talking and flirting with each other and well no need to mention where it all lead.

A few days I flew home and went back to work. I was actually feeling good about the experience although a little embarrassed after all I was 40 and he was 24 a concept that was unfamiliar to me. I told a few of my friends what happened and a couple were "happy" for me. In the same token was of my friends was appalled and although she never said it to my face she let it be known to a couple of other people.

At first I was angry with her after all I hadn't done anything wrong, then I was hurt as she's supposed to be my friend. I mean there are celebrities dating younger men for heaven's sake and men have been dating and marrying younger women for years!

Since then I've gone out with several younger men. The reaction I get to that varies. Most are supportive and are cool with it, some not so much. The most interesting reactions are from my own children. I have a son who is 19 and is totally cool with it, his thoughts are if I am happy then cool. My daughter who is 24, is not down with me dating younger men. Once I was dating a guy who was 24 and she informed me that her boyfriend was older than mine. Awkward.

Unfortunately there is a bit of a stigma to dating younger men. Some feel your dating them because of the mis-belief younger men last longer in the bedroom. Some people are quick to tell you a younger man is dating you only for sex or monetary reasons. Most feel that younger men are too immature. All valid points. Honestly I've dated men my age who act like they are 24, or only out for sex, or they act like they are 80 and ready for grave.

Why do I date younger men? I date younger men cause there are younger men out there that are mature for their age, they are usually more active, meaning they like getting out of the house to do things, they are usually more adventurous, they are usually more attentive, and well I just like dating younger men.

Do I date younger men exclusively? No. I've dated men all ages and there is good and bad in dating every age. I'm still surprised that younger men are interested in me and yes its flattering, I won't lie. Age is just a number, nothing more, nothing less. I still get teased sometimes for my preferences but that's OK. I sometimes think that those who tease would like to date a younger guy they just haven't whipped up the courage yet.

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