Monday, July 20, 2009

Craig's List

I know most of us has heard of Craig's List, you know the infamous list where you can sell or buy anything, meet people and even rant and rave about something that excites or pisses you off. Hell some of the funniest reading is on Craig's List. I know it's not meant to be funny, after all searching for your soul mate is serious business, so I apologize now to all those who pour their hearts out on Craigs List searching for their missed connection, the girl/boy who left them or just simply looking for the "One", but you can't help but read some of those ads and laugh or in some cases just wonder what in the hell they were they thinking?

For example, today I was bored so I decided to cruise the men seeking women ads and I came across an ad written by a 23 year old. The headline read "Girls Are Dumb". Well, being the curious girl I am I had to open it up. The ad was about 30 paragraphs of what women should/shouldn't wear, how to act and not act, what men really want, what we don't get about men, how women are always playing games, etc. It's very amusing and he does have a couple of good points. He's actually posted this diatribe several times before and within the last couple of days reposted it, but under different titles. Somehow I don't think he's winning any brownie points or dates even though he did end his bit of literary prose asking the question "so who wants to be my gf?" I'm thinking

I wish Mr. 23 would read some of the ads the men have posted looking for women as maybe he would notice a parallel. He would notice that the men have a long list of requirements that they are looking for in women, that men state they don't want to play games and yet do, that some men brazenly state in their ads they are only looking for a "mutually beneficial relationship", yet these are the things Mr. 23 is complaining about regarding women.

My next favorite ads were written by 3 different men between the ages of 25 and 40. Apparently these 3 men are very interested in getting married and quickly! One wants to be married within the year and the other 2, well they are ready to take the plunge after a few email exchanges, a coffee date and maybe a kiss! So ladies getting your engines running these 3 are not to be passed up. I mean really do these men not know the time and energy it takes to plan a wedding! I'm pretty sure this could stretching the boundaries of "love at first sight".

The winner of the day though was the ad titled " Need a psycho/schizo woman with bad credit and worse temper - 24". After reading this mini novella I'm convinced this young man needs to take a serious break from dating. If what he is "looking for" is any indication of what he has already gone through I'm thinking dating may not be for him, at least right now.

There is a running theme in the Craigs List ads and that is "you must be real". Real? I mean who have these people been dating? Mickey Mouse, their imaginary friend, a ghost? Maybe instead of saying "please be real", they should define what being real to them is. What are the qualities they are looking for that makes a a person "real"?

Admittedly there are several good ads on Craigs List that are well written and sincere and I hope they are finding what they are looking for. As for the others well they are entertaining and break up a boring afternoon. Not sure if I hope they are finding what they are looking for, especially the poor boy looking for a psycho chick, but I wish them luck too.

Wednesday, July 8, 2009


Kissing to me is kind of a big deal. For me, that's how I can tell if there will be some chemistry or not. Plus, I like kissing and I like to be kissed, does that mean I kiss every guy I go out with? Hell no. But, I have gone out with enough guys to figure out what I like and what I don't like and unfortunately there are a lot of bad kissers. I get that every one has their own technique and I'm not saying I'm the world's best kisser but there are some kisses that should never be unleashed on a person. Case in point, one time I went out with this very attractive guy from Spain. He was very sweet and funny and I liked him but when he kissed me it was like being licked on the face by a dog! Now, if I don't like a dog licking my face why in God's name would I enjoy a man doing that? Another example of bad kissing is the lip biter or sucker. You know the the kiss where the guy bites your lip or somehow grabs your upper lip and sort of sucks on it. One, that actually HURTS and two its really not enjoyable, I mean I don't get anything from it except a sore lip. My favorite bad kissing technique though is the tongue swirling in my mouth. You know kind of like you taking your finger and swirling it in your drink, well, some like to do that with their tongues. So there you are mouth open wondering what the f#*%? That is just a couple of examples of what I consider bad kissing. I don' t know, maybe I'm just too picky, but I can't imagine anyone enjoying those kissing techniques, but what I do I know maybe someone actually does.

Dating younger men

I'm sure by now most have heard the term Cougar. You know the one that describes older women dating younger men. Personally I hate the term and I don't consider myself a cougar. I feel it applies to those women who actively seek out younger men. Me on the other hand, I've never tried or sought to date younger men, honestly it just kind of happened.

I remember the first time I experienced a younger man being interested in me. It was my 40th birthday and I had flown to Texas to spend my birthday with my daughter. The day of my birthday she and her friends took me out to celebrate. We went to a couple of bars and by the end of the evening it was just me and her friends. At one point I ended up in the ladies room with two of her friends. The began to tell me that one of guys who was with us thought I was hot. Of course I was surprised, after all he was 24 and I thought they were joking. They kept saying that no "T' thought I was attractive and they thought it was cute. They left the bathroom and a few minutes later I followed. Well sneaky girls that they were, they manged to arrange it so that the only seat available was next to "T". Well we began talking and flirting with each other and well no need to mention where it all lead.

A few days I flew home and went back to work. I was actually feeling good about the experience although a little embarrassed after all I was 40 and he was 24 a concept that was unfamiliar to me. I told a few of my friends what happened and a couple were "happy" for me. In the same token was of my friends was appalled and although she never said it to my face she let it be known to a couple of other people.

At first I was angry with her after all I hadn't done anything wrong, then I was hurt as she's supposed to be my friend. I mean there are celebrities dating younger men for heaven's sake and men have been dating and marrying younger women for years!

Since then I've gone out with several younger men. The reaction I get to that varies. Most are supportive and are cool with it, some not so much. The most interesting reactions are from my own children. I have a son who is 19 and is totally cool with it, his thoughts are if I am happy then cool. My daughter who is 24, is not down with me dating younger men. Once I was dating a guy who was 24 and she informed me that her boyfriend was older than mine. Awkward.

Unfortunately there is a bit of a stigma to dating younger men. Some feel your dating them because of the mis-belief younger men last longer in the bedroom. Some people are quick to tell you a younger man is dating you only for sex or monetary reasons. Most feel that younger men are too immature. All valid points. Honestly I've dated men my age who act like they are 24, or only out for sex, or they act like they are 80 and ready for grave.

Why do I date younger men? I date younger men cause there are younger men out there that are mature for their age, they are usually more active, meaning they like getting out of the house to do things, they are usually more adventurous, they are usually more attentive, and well I just like dating younger men.

Do I date younger men exclusively? No. I've dated men all ages and there is good and bad in dating every age. I'm still surprised that younger men are interested in me and yes its flattering, I won't lie. Age is just a number, nothing more, nothing less. I still get teased sometimes for my preferences but that's OK. I sometimes think that those who tease would like to date a younger guy they just haven't whipped up the courage yet.

The Third Wheel

Lately I've found myself in a situation that I've never been in before, I'm the third wheel. For the most part I don't mind being the third wheel. My friend's boyfriend is really nice, I like him and he's even gone out of his way to include me in some of their outings. But today I found myself resenting her boyfriend and her good fortune all because of a band.

You see there's this band I've been wanting to see, in fact this outing has been planned for weeks, the only thing we hadn't done yet was get the tickets. What I forgot to plan for was the boyfriend. Here's the issue her boyfriend has a kid and this weekend is the first weekend in about 3 weeks he hasn't had him so of course she wants boyfriend time, which I totally get but hey I was here before him. This irratates me. One because I don't remember inviting him and two her going now depend on his plans!

Of course my resentment is short lived as I love my friend and I want to see her happy and I now feel bad for all the times SHE was the third wheel. I'll admit I'm a little jealous, I want a boyfriend, I want to be able to find out what he wants to do before I make plans to do anything else, I want to be able to say "hey do you mind if so and so goes?" but alas that is not in the cards at the moment.
Could I find someone else to go with me? Yes, but it wouldn't be the same, so if we don't go I will be disappointed but the world will not end and I will be happy that my friend has a really great guy that adores her and she's happy. There's still Chris Isaak.