I’ve been divorced for 4 years now and honestly dating sucks. It can also be fun, exciting, and adventurous and sometimes a little bit on the scary side. I was married right out of high school as was married 20 years before getting a divorce so I didn’t have much experience with dating. Since my divorce I’ve done a lot of dating, almost embarrassingly so.
Last but not least let’s not forget the picture. This is very important as honestly this is the first thing a prospective date looks at. He/she doesn’t really care that you may have spent the past 5 years helping poor people in Uganda, you’ve won a Pulitzer, or you’re in line to win the Nobel Peace Prize. What he/she really cares about is that when they are walking by your side they are not going to be embarrassed. So, with the final piece of the puzzle in place, you finish your profile, publish it, cross your fingers, and pray to the dating gods.
Now begins the waiting. I found myself checking my e-mail 100 times a day compared to the once or twice a day that I was used to. Thinking please god let someone like my profile just enough to say hi. Wondering, did I say too much about myself, did I say too little? Could I have picked a better picture? And then, there it was, I got a wink. Wait several winks and a couple of e-mails! Hallelujah somebody likes me!!!
The first hurdle in online dating is how do you respond to a wink? Do you e-mail them? Do you wink back? Does it mean he’s only slightly interested so a wink is too see how much of a response he gets from you? Or is he shy and unsure what to say? What to do, what to do? Since that first foray into the dating jungle I have solved the winking problem by just not replying in any fashion. My theory is if you can’t sit down and formulate at least one sentence to say hello, you’re probably not all that interested. But, since it was my first expedition into the dating world, depending on the picture and profile I winked back, ignored or sent a brief e-mail in reply to their wink.
I responded those first few e-mails and winks and again waited by my computer for a response, any response. Let me mention now that since those initial e-mails I have received many emails that have run the gambit of a mini novella to “hey baby let’s do it”. I couldn’t tell you what those initials e-mails entailed but I can tell you that I eventually picked someone as my “first” date as a divorced woman.
I eventually calmed down and we spent a couple of pleasant hours at the bar. Unfortunately I talk way too much so the poor guy probably learned more about me than he ever wanted to know but hey that’s me. As first dates go it was very pleasant. Mike was very nice and considerate knowing that he was my “first” date after 20 years of marriage and totally on unfamiliar ground. We did have a couple of dates after that but obviously it didn’t go anywhere as its now years later and I’m still single.
I’m still confused about dating, but I can say that for the most part of I’ve enjoyed most of my experiences and if there hasn’t been a steady boyfriend or a future husband I’m ok with that. But boy what a ride it has been!